- The single most important thing is non-judgmental validation. Seek someone else’s thoughts and opinions without judging them.
- Suspend your ego. Focus on them.
- Really listen, don’t just wait to talk. Ask them questions; don’t try to come up with stories to impress.
- Ask people about what’s been challenging them.
- Establishing a time constraint early in the conversation can put strangers at ease.
- Smile, chin down, blade your body, palms up, open and upward non-verbals.
- If you think someone is trying to manipulate you, clarify goals. Don’t be hostile or aggressive, but ask them to be straight about what they want.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
How to get people to like you: 7 ways from an FBI behavior expert
The Three Blind Spots of Politics
“Liberals first. In their eagerness to empathize with the victim, they can turn the victim into an object rather than an independent actor.
[…] Conservatives dehumanize in their own way. In their zeal to preserve civilization and the American way of life, they demonize those that they see as a threat to civilization.
[…Libertarians ] struggle to imagine that some people are poorly served by markets, that some transactions involve exploitation of ignorance and that the self-regulation of markets can fail.”
Book Notes: The Undoing Project
“Amos liked to say that if you are asked to do anything—go to a party, give a speech, lift a finger—you should never answer right away, even if you are sure that you want to do it. Wait a day, Amos said, and you’ll be amazed how many of those invitations you would have accepted yesterday you’ll refuse after you have had a day to think it over.”
Travis/Trump: What Uber Tells Us About The White House
from: June 28, 2017 at 11:46AM
Oh For Two
“If both of these authors are correct, then we have two political parties that aren’t really about anything. They’re competing fiercely and inarguably offering Americans some kind of choice – only someone truly out on a limb would argue that there is no difference at all between having Trump or Hillary in the White House – but they’re more like two sports teams than opposing political parties at this point. How can you have two groups locked in fierce competition when neither one of them really stands for or is about anything coherent? Easy: you frame things as the politics of identity.”
Children use salience to solve coordination problems
8-year-olds > 5-year-olds > 3-year-olds at finding ways in the environment to coordinate with each other if there is no method for communication. 3-year-olds were no better than chance.
The War on Work—and How to End It
“Yet every underemployed American represents a failure of entrepreneurial imagination. We can do better. Our educational system must improve the way it provides skills that bring higher earnings, and we need to experiment with new forms of vocational training. We should encourage entrepreneurial energies, including by making it easier for small businesses to get up and running in low-income areas. And social programs that deter employment should be reformed—and ideally replaced by a simple pro-work subsidy. It’s time to end the war on work.”
How A.E. Housman Invented Englishness
“Housman insisted that the task of poetry was “to transfuse emotion—not to transmit thought”; it was to make your throat clench and your hair stand on end. The emotion his own poetry most often elicits is that of overwhelming sadness.”
What Intelligent Machines Need to Learn From the Neocortex
“These three fundamental attributes of the neocortex—learning by rewiring, sparse distributed representations, and sensorimotor integration—will be cornerstones of machine intelligence. Future thinking machines can ignore many aspects of biology, but not these three. Undoubtedly, there will be other discoveries about neurobiology that reveal other aspects of cognition that will need to be incorporated into such machines in the future, but we can get started with what we know today.”
you can’t fake it
“Tricks of evolution aside, I’m left to wonder: what makes people insecure? Why is the condition so common? An obvious culprit, if you’re in my position, is capitalism” …
SMH, the ancient religions answered these questions a long time ago. But modern atheists can’t get past the ‘wrongness’ of the literal interpretations of the texts to discover them.
If you can’t explain something in simple terms, you don’t understand it
from: June 16, 2017 at 12:27AM
Sunbathing in the Rain: Do we all need a little time to sit and think?
“A recent study by psychologists at the University of Virginia asked subjects to simply sit in a room and ‘just think’ for 6 to 15 minutes. In the room was a button allowing subjects to electrocute themselves if they wanted. The researchers found that the majority of subjects would rather electrocute themselves than just sit quietly and think.”
What Is Depression, Anyway?: The Synapse Hypothesis
from: June 13, 2017 at 05:50PM
The most avid believers in artificial intelligence are aggressively secular – yet their language is eerily religious. Why?
“Both religion and science, he observes, are ways of transcending our inherently fragile condition; they are versions of a ‘rebellion against human existence as it has been given’.
But religious tropes in the AI community are motivated by more than the rejection of vulnerability. They are also grounded in a view of history as an upward, goal-oriented progression.”
Michael Lewis and the Parable of the Fourth Cookie
“With incredible consistency the person arbitrarily appointed leader of the group grabbed the fourth cookie, and ate it. Not only ate it, but ate it with gusto: lips smacking, mouth open, drool at the corners of their mouths. In the end all that was left of the extra cookie were crumbs on the leader’s shirt.
This leader had performed no special task. He had no special virtue. He’d been chosen at random, 30 minutes earlier. His status was nothing but luck. But it still left him with the sense that the cookie should be his.
This experiment helps to explain Wall Street bonuses and CEO pay, and I’m sure lots of other human behavior.”
How a Single Gene Could Become a Volume Knob for Pain
from: June 7, 2017 at 01:12PM